#there is a lot of guilt in that. in wanting to just give up and end things because whats the Point

[ri-writes-if]

Chapter 6 is released!

You’ve been wandering in the darkness, but now the light is here, and it blinds you. Your vision clears, and you see it. You see the trap closing right above your head, leaving you with no way to escape.

The situation with Vezriel’s sibling becomes troublesome. Because of your abilities, you learn more than you should know. But it gives you a chance to see Vezriel from a side they show to few demons.

A strange vision promises you misery, though you don’t know why or how. Is it connected to Os? You can only guess, though you don’t have much time for it as Os pulls you back into the high society and shows you how they deal with some matters.

Perhaps Laz would’ve preferred to keep you at a safe distance, but when trouble knocks on the door of their home, Laz can’t refuse your help with an important matter. If you want your payment in honesty, you might just get it this time.

You and Ashmedai both walk closer to something you would rather not remember. For you, it is a painful reminder; for them, it’s another stone added to the weight of their guilt. They’re not prepared to give their last, most painful ‘secret’ to your judgment, but they must.

Az seems so simple, but the more you learn about them, the less you understand them. They’ve opened their home for you—which you never expected to happen—and have shown you unprecedented trust, but you still can’t stop wondering about what they’re hiding from you.

Over 100K words of new content!

Other updates/changes:

Content warnings are updated!

Added the Oracle’s appearance description and the characters’ heights to the profiles.

The relationship’s statuses will update almost at the end of the chapter, so take a peek at these 👀

Serif font is changed. I don’t think anyone cares, lol, but this one is easier to read.

A new hidden stat. It is an obvious one, so I’ll let you find it in the chapter. It’s not here to make or ruin your playthrough, so don’t fret about it and choose what is suitable for your Oracle! :) It’ll mostly give you additional flavor text depending on the other choices you make in the future.

There are lots of variables and branches at work, and I couldn’t go through all of them. So if you see something wanky, or a bug, or a double space line, or typos, or anything that sounds like it shouldn’t be in your specific playthrough/etc., please let me know! You can put it in the tumblr askbox, in the form, or message me directly anywhere.

LINK

I’ve been waiting for this chapter (this and the next one) for so long. When I was coming up with ideas for this story, the last scene of this chapter was among the first things I wrote down. At last you can guess where I’m leading the Oracle and what their journey will look like. Their journey and their growth... or downfall. And you’ll be the one to decide what it is and what the Oracle thinks of it :)

I wonder how many readers will be surprised by it and how many have been expecting it 👀 Let me know what you think about it!

@interact-if

[livsbuffy]

the long-term impact of buffy’s relationship with angel on her perception of love and her self-worth deserved to be explored more. the show touches on it a few times, but it didn't get nearly enough focus, considering how formative this first romantic experience was.

from the beginning, their relationship is doomed by the narrative : the soul curse, the slayer vs. vampire dynamic, angel's constant disappearing acts, etc. when angel loses his soul, he immediately expresses hatred for buffy. angelus doesn't feel an ounce of love for the girl. whatever angel felt never transferred to his uninhibited counterpart, angelus.

ANGELUS : She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive. (Innocence, 2x14).

from the age of sixteen, buffy starts associating intimacy (emotional and physical) with punishment and hurt. her love is poison. it's the root of evil (angel losing his soul after their first time) and it hurts the people she loves (giles losing jenny). love becomes laced with guilt.

BUFFY (to Giles) : I'm sorry I couldn't kill him for you... for [Jenny]... when I had the chance. (Passion, 2x17)

angel taints buffy's sense of self. he makes her doubt herself. he never stops bringing up her age and immaturity (shocker, high school girl isn't an adult!!!!). it's a recurring theme in their relationship, one the show gives up on for some reason, but it was very much present in the beginning.

ANGEL : You're sixteen years old. I'm two hundred and forty-one. BUFFY: I've done the math. ANGEL : You don't know what you're doing, you don't know what you want... (Reptile Boy, 2x05)

this imbalance is a constant, but both shows gloss it over or try to reverse it. there’s a scene in angel’s spin-off where buffy finds faith with him and asks that she face legal consequences (a reasonable demand for someone who just stole her body). but buffy is painted as the irrational party by the writing. worse, when angel grabs buffy’s arm to stop her from going after a fleeing faith and she fights back, he justifies hitting her, completely disregarding her trauma and focusing on her physicality to distract the viewer from his emotional manipulation.

BUFFY :  You hit me. ANGEL :  Not to go all schoolyard on you, but you hit me first. In case you've forgotten, you're a little bit stronger than I am. (Sanctuary, 1x19)

the show insists on buffy’s strength, but ignores the emotional and situational imbalance. angel is older, more experienced, and constantly undermines her feelings. the narrative minimizes his mind-games by deflecting. angel twists buffy's need for justice into revenge. he takes her justified pain and shapes it into something vile, gaslighting buffy and invalidating her feelings.

ANGEL :  Buffy, this wasn't about you!  This was about saving somebody's soul.  (...) ANGEL :  You came because of Faith.  You were looking for vengeance. (Sanctuary, 1x19)

angel plays tricks on buffy's mind during her most formative years. every time he dismisses her pain and struggles, it confirms her insecurities and feeds the voice in her head telling her she's the problem.

there are moments where buffy actively tries to change herself, be someone she's not just to please angel. she tries to lose herself in a performance for the older guy. one notable instance is her halloween costume choice : a woman from angel’s era, prettier from buffy's point of view, a woman that he would have been attracted to back then. ironically, buffy actually does lose herself because the costume is cursed.

BUFFY (to Angel) : I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age. (Halloween, 2x06)

not only does her love for angel cause tragedy and evil, it also makes her feel small, not worthy, not enough. it touches her self-esteem. this is apparent when angel mocks buffy after their first time, tapping right into her teenage insecurities :

ANGELUS : You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night. BUFFY : What are you saying? ANGELUS : Let's not make an issue out of it, okay? In fact, let's not talk about it at all. It happened. BUFFY : I don't understand. Was it me? Was I not good? (Innocence, 2x14)

he is later painted as the older guy who changed after sex. the show veers off-course in season 3 and completely disregards this aspect of their relationship in order to paint them as a tragic romance instead of sticking with the original subtext : teenage buffy, the "kiddo", being groomed and blaming herself.

BUFFY : Do you remember that guy Angel? JOYCE : Angel, the, um... the college boy who was tutoring you in history? BUFFY : (...) We're sort of dating, were dating. Going through a serious off-again phase right now. JOYCE : Don't tell me. He's changed. He's not the same guy you fell for? (Passion, 2x17)

you can see the impact later with parker. buffy thinks something is wrong with her. her instinct when parker decides that she was just a one-night stand is to put the blame on herself and question her worth, reminiscent of her conversation with angel after their first time :

BUFFY : Parker did I do something wrong? PARKER : Something wrong? No, of course not. It was fun. (...) PARKER : I'm sorry if you missed something. I thought things were pretty clear. BUFFY : I'm sorry if I miss. I'm sorry. PARKER : Look, I really have to go now. BUFFY : Parker wait. I did this all wrong.

angel was the first love that turned evil because of her touch. he was the first love that didn’t stay. so in buffy’s mind, it rings “this is all my fault” alarm bells. she’s not worth staying for. people leaving is her responsibility. it's always the slayer's responsibility.

then she settles for riley despite the lack of love or passion, to regain the normalcy that was shattered by angel. her relationship with riley only happens because of the damage angel caused.

BUFFY : I think [Riley] cares about me but I just feel like something's missing.  WILLOW : He's not making you miserable? BUFFY : Exactly. Riley seems so solid. Like he wouldn't cause me heartache.  (...) WILLOW : The pain is not a friend. BUFFY : (...) Part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. I wonder where I get that from. (Something Blue, 4x09)

she stays with him even though she’s clearly not fulfilled (running away to slay vampires in the middle of the night instead of staying with him). but even then, riley leaves. being in a relationship with the slayer hurt him in some way (well, his ego). buffy was caught in yet another relationship where she had to change herself, this time because she was too intimidating for regular human riley.

all the men in buffy’s romantic and sexual life made her feel like she tainted them in some way. they were worse off with her. angel loses his soul. she wasn’t good enough for parker. she was too slayer-y for riley. she voices this insecurity to angel in the series finale :

BUFFY : I always feared there was something wrong with me, you know, because I couldn’t make it work. (Chosen, 7x22)

this all starts with angel and bleeds into every single one of her relationships because he shaped her worldview at such a young age. angel being completely unable to love her without a soul also made it impossible for her to accept spike's love, at first. because if spike could love her, then why couldn't angel?

BUFFY : And the joke is... [Spike] loved me. I mean, in his own sick, soulless way, he really did care for me. But I didn't want to be loved. (Conversations With Dead People, 7x07)

accepting spike's unconditional love for her, with or without a soul, would mean confronting the reality of her relationship with angel. it was a superficial love that never transcended soul, conscience or morality. it wasn't deeply ingrained in the deepest parts of him (angel and angelus). strip angel of his inhibitions and he only has loathing for her. strip spike of his soul, and the love stays. twisted, perverted, selfish, but there. real and strong enough to make him want to be better on his own, no curse needed.

for spike, the humanity he gained from loving buffy was a gift he was grateful for, because he's always longed for humanity and never fully severed the link with it.

SPIKE : I know that I’m a monster, but you treat me like a man. (The Gift, 5x22)

he tries to be better for her, as much as his lack of conscience allows. from the start, buffy planted the seeds of his soul quest. it wasn't a spur of the moment thing. it was a process. when willow's spell backfires in Tabula Rasa (6x08), spike, stripped of his memories, already thinks he has a soul. even then, he instinctively gravitates towards buffy and tries to do good. his bond with buffy doesn't depend on souls or memories.

buffy being better and stronger than him—because of her soul, her true goodness, her slayer power—never scared him or drove him away. it intrigued him. it pushed him to stay. spike keeps coming back to buffy. it's all about buffy.

DRUSILLA : You're all covered with her. I look at you, all I see is the Slayer. (Fool For Love, 5x07)

at first, spike tries to drag buffy down with him, to keep her in the darkness, where he belongs. he isolates her further from her friends after her resurrection. by then, corrupting her is the only way for him to have her.

SPIKE : That's not your world. You belong in the shadows... with me. (Dead Things, 6x13)

but spike ends up having an epiphany thanks to love. the only way is to rise to her level. he's beneath her and he accepts it.

SPIKE : We were never together. Not really. She'd never lower herself that far. (Seeing Red, 6x19)

this is the culmination of years and years of performing goodness to please her, failing, trying again, that lead to one conclusion : he needs the missing piece. it's love that leads him to this. he got his soul back to be her equal. buffy is intricately tied to spike's growing identity. she's part of him. buffy changed him on a fundamental level, in a way that was never seen before. she made him go against his vampire nature.

SPIKE : You know, everything used to be so clear. Slayer. Vampire. Vampire kills Slayer, sucks her dry, picks his teeth with her bones. It's always been that way. I've tasted the life of two Slayers. But with Buffy... It isn't supposed to be this way! (Seeing Red, 6x19)

love has become transformative.

and even after his ensoulment, he still kneels in front of buffy. he voluntarily puts himself beneath her, to profess his love for her just the way she is. spike loves all of her, the failures, the cracks, the shortcomings. he loves her for trying and failing and being imperfectly good.

SPIKE : I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman. You’re the one, Buffy. (Touched, 7x20).

spike elevates buffy on her journey towards loving herself. he tells her what neither of the men who came before him ever did : she is better, she is enough, she doesn't have to change. he honors her.

caring for spike means loving the darkest parts of her. caring for spike means finally accepting that her love can be a power of good, that her relationship with angel doesn't define how she loves. through spike, buffy frees herself of the self-inflicted guilt in her failed relationships.

the last scene is extremely symbolic. spike gives buffy her fire back.

their clasped hands burn. fire symbolizes purification. when spike burns, it's the ultimate step of his redemption. purification of the soul. when buffy's hand burns with his, it signifies the change in how she views love. it's cleansed. it's pure. it's life-changing. it heals. she takes spike's burning hand because she's not scared of love anymore. because she accepts it, fully, in all its beauty and complexity.

angel was the problem. parker was the problem. riley was the problem. there is nothing wrong with her.

spike loved. spike stayed. spike changed. spike burned for her. spike became light because of her.

her love is light.

[kxsagi]

Hii!! (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)

I was wondering if you could do any bllk guy (preferably rin or Isagi) x Reader with inattentive ADHD?

Like for example: they looses focus in a matter of seconds, is super forgetful (important days, doctor’s appointments etc.), misplaces things very often, really likes to babble about their interests whenever they get the chance

Feel free to ignore if writing about disorders is something that makes you uncomfortable 💗

“𝐨𝐡, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞”

a/n: love me not by ravyn lenae is stuck in my head

ft. itoshi rin, isagi yoichi

𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐫𝐢𝐧 – “𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞?”

the first time you forget your anniversary, rin says nothing. 

he just blinks at you from across the table, dressed in the navy button-up you once called your “fave boyfriend shirt,” watching you tilt your head and squint at the menu like you haven’t ordered the same pasta here for the past five times. 

“hey,” you say, chewing your lip, “do you think pigeons feel guilt? like… if one cheated on their bird partner, would they feel bad?” 

rin leans forward a little, slow. “you forgot again.” 

you blink. “what?” 

“our anniversary.” 

you drop your menu like it bit you. “no i didn’t! today is… thursday.” 

“it’s tuesday.” 

“okay, but like… calendar-wise, i’ve had a lot on my mind!” 

“you forgot your mind at home, didn’t you?” 

you gape at him. “i did not– wait, did i lock the front door? oh my gosh. oh my gosh. rin. what if there’s a raccoon in the apartment right now–”  

he sighs and grabs your wrist, pulling your hand into his lap, his thumb gently rubbing across your knuckles to stop the spiral. you bite your tongue and glance up at him sheepishly. “sorry.” 

“it’s fine,” he mutters, still holding your hand. “you remembered my birthday. that’s more important.” 

“because you reminded me,” you murmur. 

he shrugs. “and?” 

you blink again. “so you’re not mad?” 

he rolls his eyes. “you’re annoying. and forgetful. and loud. and you leave your toothbrush in the fridge.” 

“okay that was once–” 

“twice.” 

you whine. he deadpans. but then, his fingers squeeze yours and his voice softens. “you’re also really kind. you remember everyone’s favorite color. you hum when you’re happy. and when you talk about something you love, you light up like an idiot.” 

your breath hitches. 

“… that’s cute,” he adds, avoiding your eyes. 

your heart flutters in your chest, full to the brim. 

“you should say stuff like that more often,” you grin. 

“you should remember our anniversary,” he counters flatly. 

you fake a gasp. “rin!” 

“what?” 

“i just remembered where i left your airpods.” 

“… where.” 

“in the freezer.” 

rin has never looked so tired. 

𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐲𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢 – “𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧?”

you and time have never been on speaking terms. 

isagi knows this. he’s dated you for long enough to recognize the signs, like when you start humming a tune mid-task and suddenly it’s been 30 minutes and you’re halfway through reorganizing the spice rack alphabetically because you just felt like it. 

this morning is no different. 

“love, we have that doctor’s appointment in twenty–” 

“do you think bees get lonely?” 

he pauses mid-sock. “what.” 

you lean against the doorframe, toothbrush in hand, mouth full of foam. “like, what if one bee wants to be a lawyer. do you think his bee family would support that?” 

“are you trying to distract me because you forgot where your shoes are again?” 

“no,” you say, obviously lying. “also yes.” 

isagi gets up, walks past you, opens the fridge, and pulls out your left shoe. 

“why was it in there?” 

“to keep it fresh?” 

he gives you the most long-suffering boyfriend stare imaginable. “this is the fifth time this week.” 

“don’t exaggerate. it was three.” 

“you put your phone in the laundry basket yesterday.” 

“it was hiding from capitalism.” 

he can’t help it, he laughs. you flash a grin, victorious, and immediately forget what you were doing. 

“… wait. what were we doing again?” 

“doctor’s appointment.” he says it slowly, like you’re a sims character with no pathfinding. 

“oh my GOSH, right! okay okay give me two minutes!” 

it’s never two minutes. 

ten minutes later, you stumble out of the bedroom with two different shoes, no bag, and one earring. 

“ready!” you announce. 

isagi sighs, picks up your bag from under the couch (where you hid it for “safekeeping”), then gently turns your left shoe the right way around. you hadn’t even noticed it was backwards. 

you pause, lips twitching. “you still love me, right?” 

he kisses your forehead. “unfortunately.” 

you gasp. “rude!” 

“i meant: unfortunately for me, because now i’m in too deep.” 

you tackle him in a hug, nearly knocking over the umbrella stand. 

somehow, you still make it to the appointment on time. 

(… you do forget your ID, but he’s already got a photocopy in his wallet. just in case.) 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[razorblade180]

9 Days of Lancaster Day 4: Injury

Ruby:Y’know if there’s one thing I like to brag about when it comes to you Jaune, it’s how cautious you are. Strong shield, quick thinker, lots of aura, and practical armor! The modern definition of a tank. Haha, clearly that went to your head cause…

She gestures to left broken arm and right foot trapped in a medical boot. The bruise ridden boy slowly turned his head away as he laid miserably in bed.

Ruby:Don’t turn from me! In what world do you block a head bash from a Goliath!? You’re lucky your shield took the impact! That was reckless!

Jaune:Gee, I wonder if I’ve had bad influences? Who would face a giant grimm head on in the heat of a crisis?

Ruby:So did you blackout on the parts where it didn’t work!?

Jaune:We were spread thin and couldn’t give an inch. Hey, at least I killed it. That’s gotta be worth something, right? In the moment I felt pretty cool.

Ruby:…Sigh You did look pretty bad ass.

Jaune:Learned that from my friends too.

Ruby:Well now you’re gonna learn something I got from a dear friend; don’t rush in! If your calculated risk involves charging in then it’s a bad idea. *crosses arms* If you weren’t you, these injuries would be a lot worse. Trust me, you wouldn’t be laughing if your ribs broke, or if you got more tusk than trunk. It’s not fun seeing a person you love go flying before hitting the ground.

Her pout was in full effect. Not as a means to guilt trip, but because the scene replayed in her head. Jaune quit trying to make light of the moment upon seeing her genuine concern all over her face. He reached out to her to the best of his ability.

Not wanting him to strain himself even further, Ruby automatically got closer. The boy dared to have the nerve to wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her ever closer until she had not choice to set next to him on the bed. She turned her nose up at the embrace, feeling his head rest against her stomach and lap like some sort of golden retriever.

Ruby:I’m still mad at you.

Jaune:I know. I’m sorry. I’m glad I get to see you be mad though. I’m happy to be seeing you at all.

Ruby:*red*….That’s so unfair. The Goliath couldn’t have knocked out some wit? *rubs his head* It really did get crazy out there. I need to up my speed.

Jaune:Can’t be everywhere at once, Rubes. This is all on me. We all make our calls.

Ruby:Yeah. It just sucks when there’s not many to choose from. I like to think I’m clever in my own right, but it pisses me off I don’t see another call you could’ve made. Jaune, you were awesome out there, but I wish you didn’t have to be.

Jaune:Pfft, wow. Never in my life did I think I’d hear that. It’s like a sad gold star. Look at the bright side at this. Everyone is safe. This was a live and learn opportunity. Not to mention now I have a month of you doting on me. I

Ruby:I miss when this was the other way around.

Jaune:Haha, learning experience. I gotta say, I kinda like the lap pillow experience.

Ruby:*red* You could ask for this whenever! Just wait till you’re good enough to stand on your own; I’m making your physical therapy hell.

Jaune:Please don’t…

Ruby:To late. I’m also going to be a hard ass about your medication and rest.

Jaune:Will nurse Ruby be wearing the outfit as well?

Ruby:*squints*

Jaune:*red* It’s the medication. Ignore my nonsense.

Ruby:I swear, maybe this is karma leveling itself out? Looks like I got my hands full.

She bends down and kisses his head before getting up to stretch and make her way. Towards the door. Honestly she should be more upset, but found herself appreciating those silver linings. No time like quality time. That’s what her mom used to say anyway.

Ruby:You hungry? I’ll make you something.

Jaune:I’m fine, thanks.

Ruby:Then I guess I’ll be back in about five minutes.

Jaune:Grabbing a snack?

Ruby:Getting the bath ready. Somebody is gonna need helping hands for awhile~ *leaves*

Jaune:…*lays down* ✨silver linings✨

[loquaciousquark]

First, @lethendralis-paints, this art is still incredible and I was literally looking at just a few days ago, you remain amazing and stunning and gorgeous and I'm still so unspeakably grateful. Too wonderful!!

Second (sorry OP for the post hijack!), I did have the rest of that mermaid narrative plotted out! I ended up not wanting to pursue a full chaptered fic for the idea, though, and I wasn't as comfortable back then stringing a bunch of oneshots together for the major beats I wanted to hit. I know how it goes, though!

In brief: Hawke & Bethany research Danarius and come up with some plans to break his hold on Fenris. However, Danarius gets wind of this first and compels an attack on them (possibly mermaid Varania, mermaid Venatori, random mermaid mercs, I hadn't decided). Both Hawke & Fenris are injured, Hawke critically, and Fenris has to hustle her back to her family.

Carver & Malcolm meet Fenris at this point, but as he obviously can't follow them up the rickety bluff stairs to where the house is, he has to wait below while they take her up to save her life. It's all very tense & Carver is deeply resentful that he's being sent as a messenger between Malcolm/Bethany & the shore as they work on Hawke, and he's also super mad at Fenris for putting Hawke in danger (and not exactly thrilled that he exists in the first place).

Anyway, a few days pass, and once Hawke is finally stable, Fenris leaves out of massive guilt without saying goodbye and ends up getting recaptured by Danarius. Hawke sneaks out to the shoreline to try to find him even though she can barely walk & ends up meeting either Varania or a selkie Merrill, who tells her what's happened & that Fenris needs her help. Hawke is desperate to do so but has no idea how, and Varania-or-selkie-Merrill alerts her that the rock she found & pieced together is magical and might provide aid.

Hawke goes to the grotto at this point and pulls out the red stone disc she'd reassembled (I had this idea long before VG, I promise!) and it turns out it is indeed magical! In fact, it's so magical it has Flemeth in it! So Flemeth comes out, thanks Hawke for freeing her from her prison, and offers a boon. Hawke asks to become a mermaid so she can help Fenris, and Flemeth says sure, but the magic will only last a few days; to fully change her body permanently would be dangerous & require very powerful magic she no longer has.

So Hawke turns into a (fully healed) mermaid and with foreknowledge from Bethany's research, goes down with Vanaria-or-selkie-Merrill to Danarius's underground palace. In a fairly long & involved sequence I also didn't want to write because I don't love deep water lmao, they rescue Fenris, have a big fight, and kill Danarius. It's all very magical and flashy & full of verticality I also didn't really want to bother tracking, fights in 3D space are hard, ugh. Danarius dies and releases a powerful burst of magic, which Hawke accidentally absorbs into both herself & the red disc, rendering the backlash harmless. Her mermaid form does give up the ghost early as a result, however, & Fenris ferries her home one last time. (Possibly deeply unlikely oxygen kisses happen here, who knows.)

They get back to shore, Fenris & Hawke reunite & have a long conversation & lots more kisses, and then are trying to figure out what the future looks like for them. She doesn't mind living on the beach forever if it means they get to be together, but Fenris wants to be with her always, not just near the water, and even though his oceanic talents are formidable, he hates that he's chained to the ocean & she would be too if she stayed with him.

But this is a world of magic where birds and fishes DO get to find a place to live, because I'm the one writing it because Flemeth comes out to save the day! It turns out that last burst of magic from Danarius was actually power he stole from her lonnnng ago (he's the one who put her in the pendant and broke it) and with its return, she's stronger than she was before! She's moving out of the pendant to bigger and better things, but since they killed the man who wronged her, she'll leave a drop of her power behind as a gift. As long as Fenris wears the pendant around his neck, he'll become human, and if he wants to return to the sea he can just take it off & have his tail again.

So Flemeth goes dragon and beats feet, and Fenris puts on the pendant and grows feet. There's a very funny image in my head of him being extremely bad at walking for a minute, and then he & Hawke go off hand in hand to meet the family & explain why she went missing with no explanation, whoops. Happily ever after, the end, lots of adventures with selkie Merrill & colorful reefs to follow!

It remains a super fun idea & I still daydream about it often; I just don't know if I'll ever have the wherewithal to actually sit down and bang it out. But those are the major beats, so maybe someday! <3

Lyrium reefs

[amordixon]

୨ৎ 𓂃 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 ˚. ᵎᵎ ‹𝟹 ₊˚⊹

you always knew that being with rafe while also being a pogue wasn’t going to be an easy relationship to uphold. especially given his hatred of all pogues and the fact that he didn’t like you hanging out with any other pogues.

so, when you showed up late to his house, and your reason was simply that you had lost track of time, his guard went right up. it was never his intention for things to blow up the way that they had, but the second you mentioned that you had been hanging out at the boneyard, he couldn’t help but feel intimidated by your friends.

the last thing he wanted was for the two of you to argue or for him to make you upset, but as of lately, he had been under a lot of pressure, and he couldn’t help the invasive thoughts that had been harbouring inside his head. everything he had been holding in was bound to come out at some point, and, unfortunately for you, you just happened to be in the crossfire of it all.

“you’re a pogue! you’re never going to understand what it’s like to constantly have people pressuring you to do better!” he shouted, pointing his finger accusingly at you. “to be better!”

this was just the beginning of the argument, one that caused him to storm out of the bedroom because the second he realised what he had done, that he had taken his frustration and anger out on you, he was overcome with guilt. his eyes glossed over with instant regret, but he couldn’t stand there any longer knowing he was the one that made you cry.

his mind ran wild with thoughts of how undeserving he was of you, and he couldn’t take it.

you considered going home to give him space, but right now, you knew he needed you more than ever, and the thought of him coming back to the room and seeing that you weren’t there, well, it didn’t feel right.

an hour or so passed before there was a knock on the door, and before you had the chance to respond, it slowly opened. rafe stood on the other side, looking at you with sorrowful eyes as he leaned against the door frame, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers.

“look, i…” he begins to speak but stops, his jaw tensing and eyes flittering with the same guilt from before. “i don’t-”

“come here,” you cut him off, pressing your lips into a reassuring smile and pat the bed next to you, but he doesn’t move.

he hesitates before shaking his head, “no. i can’t... i can’t just pretend like-”

he stops again after you’ve stood in front of him, caressing the side of his face and say, “stop. we can talk about it later, but for right now, i just… i just need you to hold me, okay?”

“okay,” he says softly, his eyes slowly fluttering as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer. His head rests upon yours as you drink him in, and after a couple of minutes, he whispers, “i’m sorry.”

“i know.”

“i didn’t mean anything i said. i just… i don’t-”

“i know.” you cut him off once more, and he pulls away far enough that he can see your face before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “let’s just forget about the whole thing, okay?”

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 1x05, "damned if you do"

this is going to be a long one, so apologies in advance!

i'm putting this at the top of the recap because it's funny and i don't want to forget to mention it: hugh laurie cannot say "percent" in an american accent. it's the single word that he's fumbled so far, and i love it every time.

very solid episode overall with a lot more character-specific development. i feel like 1x04 was more overall thematic development, whereas 1x05 featured more individual traits among the ducklings, house, and cuddy (with some fleeting bonus wilson at the end). for organization's sake, i'll list those here:

cuddy remains the keeper of order, but her sense of duty comes increasingly from her strong-willed responsibility and patient advocacy rather than any petulance. i love how house as an individual pushes us to dislike her/find her annoying, but cuddy herself makes compelling ethical arguments for refuting house every time. not to be hostile here, but i think viewers who have a strong dislike for cuddy are fundamentally missing the intent and brilliance of her character.

cameron is a strong agnostic who doesn't quite see the irony in her absolutist devotion to house. she craves order in the world - she doesn't reject a universal keeper-of-order, just an "anthropomorphic" being - and finds that within her job and within the realm of house. i love that her naivety isn't just her being Young And Impressionable, but comes from her need to make sense of the loss in her life and in that of her patients'.

foreman was giving judas throughout this episode, giving us the most direct character trait of his yet - clear, unwavering convictions. and i think it's misguided to qualify these convictions are selfish or inherently anti-house (i see that take a lot on twitter). he doesn't take the decision to oust house to cuddy lightly, yet even when he's rejected by cameron and chase for his choice, he stays firm. and he's paradoxically rewarded by house for it.

robert chase. i'm already getting weepy about where his story is headed. this is the show's first mentioning of chase's history with catholicism - his time in seminary school, his distaste for his father, the fact that he's held onto the religious know-how instilled in him, and that his doubt and dejection stems from fear. retrospective knowledge about his father also shows how he's already transferring his ideal of fatherhood to house, however subliminally. one of my favorite interactions in this episode was when house insists to chase that religion is enforced via fear of god and divine retribution passed down by fathers to their sons. not only do we know this to be true of chase's childhood, but chase has already shown us a fear of failing house.

a note about me for context - i'm an atheist (i promise on my life that i'm not edgy and exclusionary like house!) who grew up catholic until i was about 15. i also recently taught at a catholic university, so catholic themes and practices are fresh on my mind. this episode is rife with direct allusions to the religion.

over-ambitious though this comparison may be, i viewed cuddy and house as competing religious dogmas in 1x05, very in line with a church (PPTH) schism. the patient's moral code, her being a nun, is textually compared to cuddy's rule over the hospital (in a funny house-hates-authority-because-he-finds-it-suffocating way). house objects to the nuns' belief system and, in the same breath, objects to cuddy's taking control of the case because he's violating established codes of hospital conduct, i.e., putting the patient in the hyperbaric chamber without enough evidence that it will help her.

so when house is taken off the case, he's basically being thrown out of a metaphorical church and treated like an outcast. maybe a pariah, if we take the comparison even further, which sparks a very unexpected patch of guilt within him. also very catholic (ask my irish catholic family). more on this later!

i also think the emphasis on house's potential misery bears some investigating since this is the first time the show tugs at this thread. at the very start of the episode, wilson and house are comparing clinic duties to dante's circles of hell. house eventually equivocates the task of charting to having "melancholy without hope." it's a fleeting and funny remark at first, but one of the patient's fellow nuns resurrects this conversation later on in the hospital chapel.

the nun addresses house's facade, saying that "you make jokes because you're afraid to take anything seriously because, if you take things seriously, they matter."

house refutes this instantly, of course, which she's prepared for. in the face of his obstinance, she says, "i barely know you, and i don't know if i'm right. i just hope i am, because the alternative is you really are as miserable as you seem to be."

THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF! not only does 1x05 offer up a woman of faith as a suitable opponent for house's wry cynicism, but we've been unsure thus far about the depths of house's misery, nor how far down his front goes. this episode shows us the absolute top of the iceberg. in the following scene, cuddy kicks him off the case, and the next time we see house, he's searching through the epinephrine drawer in the clinic room to see if he really did make a mistake and make his patient sick. guilt has struck, and guilt is scary because it also proves that house himself believes that he can be fallible.

so it's only fitting that the angel on house's shoulder appears during the throes of his guilt to probe a little further into his thoughts and feelings. wilson circumvents the several conversational traps that house lays for him like he's paid to do it, and lands on the fact that house feels guilty for potentially failing his patient, but wilson phrases it in a very nonsecular way: "guilt does a lot of damage...you're here because you're having doubts."

in a trend that will be repeated well into the future, it's only wilson who can permeate the deific walls house erects around himself. how crazy it is to psychoanalyze the show's symbolic god figure, let alone do it successfully?

and that all sounds a whole lot like a conversation that could take place inside a confessional.

this exchange helps inspire what i think is the episode's most profound conversation - when house and the patient speak to one another about her god and her faith as she denies treatment. house permits belief in the afterlife, but rejects any and all belief that insists that a god can affect the Here And Now. subliminally, he's struggling with the idea that suffering and illness could be caused by a being people are supposed to love and worship because he sees suffering and illness as puzzles that need to be solved and corrected. how can anyone, then, find bliss in unsolved suffering?

the patient then says this in response: "i don't believe that He is inside me and is going to save me. i believe He is inside me whether i live or die."

house: "then you might as well live. you got a better shot betting on me than Him."

in an incredibly odd twist, 1x05 highlights a deep, barely detectable kindness in house that the show posits is not accessible via the catholic nun's faith (controversial, i know, but i'm calling it like i see it). house does not operate like their god. if he is a symbolic god figure, his penchant for puzzle solving isn't so far removed from humanity. it comes from the belief that life is good and suffering is bad. not that he would ever really admit that, though.

finally (and i'm scaling back a lot of my thoughts here because this post is already way too long), i want to circle back on confession and guilt. the relationship between the 2 is everywhere in 1x05. foreman, though he was in the right to "betray" house, feels guilty for confessing to cuddy. chase confesses to the patient that he left seminary school because he failed the faith/fear test, and he exhibits conflicted guilt throughout the episode. his specific brand of catholic guilt becomes a huge component of his character moving forward. house feels guilt on-screen for the first time. and cuddy even feels guilt for, first, letting one of her doctors potentially harm a patient due to negligence and, later, almost sabotaging house's diagnosis.

you know who doesn't feel guilty this episode, though? despite having the most blatant reason for it?

"maybe i'll come to your place." "your wife doesn't mind being alone on christmas?" "i'm a doctor. she's used to being alone. i don't want to talk about it."

i can think of very few conversations that reveal so much about a character so quickly:

hanging out together outside of work is normal for these 2.

wilson is married and the relationship is rocky.

he's clearly to blame, at least in part, for that rockiness.

he doesn't seem to mind being to blame for it. he'd much rather prioritize his other relationships.

despite being the one to draw out the truth being house's thoughts and feelings about guilt and self-honesty throughout the episode, wilson refuses to engage in this himself. he flagrantly shuts down the opportunity for confession, despite having demanded it of house earlier on.

this marks a clear shift from wilson existing just to define/prop up house into wilson as a slowly burgeoning foil. he's characterized by our lack of knowledge about him; by now, cameron, foreman, chase, and house are pretty illuminated, and 1x05 did a lot of work with cuddy, too. even the slightest tease of info deconstructs a lot of our assumptions about wilson so far. he's only been the kind oncologist who sees the good in house - what do you mean he's shitty?

this episode had some visuals to imply house/wilson as foils, too:

and, much like how he can bring out the painful honesty in house, he can also bring out house's most organic (unmasked, some might say) side, too. spending christmas eve together lets us know that domesticity is common between them, while also confirming that house does not, in fact, have much to come home to.

that one tumblr post that says "nothing prepares you for james wilson" is so right. he's the lynchpin for so much of this show yet approaches so slowly.

i could keep going. i forgot how much i like this episode. there's even one line from wilson to house where he says "you do realize that if you're wrong about the big picture, you're going to burn" and like. okay. whatever.

[amiratheangel]

FALSE GOD

w.beeman x fem!reader

a/n: this is for YOU @alealuvshayden because i love you (i didn’t write the smut because i cringed) also i’ve never watched this movie so i feel like a poser… enjoy anyways

it started like it always did.

late nights, empty bed, cold shoulder. WILL BEEMAN was not an expressive man by any means. especially not with his new, younger wife.

he loved you, he really did. but your constant doting and need to be around him all the time feel guilty. deep down, he knew he shouldn’t, you’re his wife after all. his pretty, talented wife who cooks his favourite dinner and holds him when he’s had a bad day. his perfect, loving wife who didn’t deserve this treatment.

so it was no surprise that when you were tidying up his home office and found a letter from his ex-wife, your heart stopped. the words on the crumpled page blurred as your eyes filled with tears.

‘i’ll always love you, darling.’

‘i was a fool to let you go.’

‘come back, sweet boy. i’ll make it up to you.’

your heart twisted with every word. why did he keep this from you? did he seriously consider leaving you to go back to her? taking slow, deep breaths, you checked the date. a week before your wedding. seven whole days before you got married to the man you thought you’d love forever and ever. while you were celebrating with your bridesmaids, he was reading love letters from his ex-wife. betrayal twisted in your gut as you took it out and re-read it.

with careful hands, you folded it and took it to your shared bedroom, contemplating how to confront him on this. it wasn’t the fact that she had written a thousand promises on it- but the fact that he had hid it from you.

countless other things plagued your mind as well. by this time in their marriage they had a son, why didn’t he want a baby with you? were you just a temporary thing to show her that he could do better without her? or did he just not love you enough?

soon the time came where he came home to you, with flowers today. your favourite. you tried smiling but broke down in tears instead.

“i know about the letter!” you sobbed, the warm liquid cascading down your face like a waterfall. “why didn’t you tell me? why? do you not love me?” you sniffed. your makeup was ruined, streaked and ran down your face. instead of being sympathetic, he burst into a fit of rage.

“why were you snooping in my stuff? god, you are so ditzy! how many times do i have to tell you the same thing over and over again? sometimes i wish i stayed with her and never married you.”

as soon as those words left his mouth he regretted it. he opened his mouth to apologise but it was too late, you’d gone running down the hall, slamming the door to your bedroom.

that night wasn’t better, he slept in the guest bedroom after you’d refused his touch and then heard you cry yourself to sleep. guilt ate more at him as the night went on, but he didn’t know how to fix it.

surviving the next few days of not talking to you was becoming impossible. he missed how safe he felt when he was in your arms, he needed you to forgive him. desperate was an understatement for what he felt.

“come on, honey. i’m sorry. you know i love you. more than anything, more than anyone! i don’t care about laura, she’s nothing compared to you.” he coaxed gently, kissing your neck and letting his hands roam around everywhere.

“i know heavens a thing… i go there when you touch me.” he mumbles into your skin, nibbling at the sensitive flesh. “honey, hell is when i fight with you,” his sweet words were making you cave slowly.

“but we can patch it up good..” he bites softly, leaving a mark of his love. “let me show you how sorry i am..” he whispers, his lips making silent vows of forgiveness.

“okay.” you reply, ready to forgive him. it had also been torture for you being mad at him. all of those words really had meant a lot you, giving you the reassurance you needed.

he carefully picked you up bridal style and kissed you, slow, deep and sensual. it said more that a million words ever could, telling you how much he loved you.

“god, you taste so good..” he muttered, his tongue tracing across your bottom lip, begging for entrance. “let me take you, please baby. i’m sorry. let me make it up to you.”

the rest of the night was filled with passion and undeniable love. he made sure your every meet was met and made you feel so good.

after, he cleaned you up, washing your hair and taking time to dry it properly.

“sweet dream, princess. i love you.”

taglisr: @alealuvshayden @ysrjune @madsluvsdilfs @prettiestmini

[peechglaze]

jesse’s character is so interesting to me because he really does love and care about ellie, but also is close enough to her that he’s comfortable being angry at her and you know they’ll make up. they give me a sibling vibe. ellie has looked up to jesse for years. jesse has been the only one all season to call out ellie’s reckless behavior and tell her shes putting them all in danger, but STILL she doesn’t care. I think people saying that jesse is “too mean” to ellie is weird because he’s right, ellie’s actions are putting them in danger. he’s angry because he’s scared. and he also doesn’t understand what she’s going through internally and how alone she truly feels and it creates a great conflict between them. I do find it humorous that for the last few weeks everyone complained about ellie not acting unhinged enough and how the show is scared to make her unlikable and here we have a character who is literally telling ellie (and the audience) how unhinged she’s acting and he’s being “mean” like lol.

Yes!! 100%!!

I'm going to be really brave and say that in the game, I didn't really care that much for Jesse. He was cool and I liked him, and his death was shocking and upsetting, but I didn't really grow as attached to him as I felt like I should have?

But HBO!Jesse has really enraptured me. I talk a lot about it in this post here.

You can see his internal struggle that he has when it comes to Ellie. He loves her dearly, but also finds her so frustrating and wants to just rattle her around and tell her to get her shit sorted. He tells her how it is because it's the only way that she'll listen, but even then she still doesn't listen.

And the way he feels like he has this obligation to Jackson, feels the pressure of what is being expected of him is so interesting. He goes against what he's been raised to think and do to go after his friends, wrestles with the guilt of being 'selfish', and then dies because of it. It's tragic, but also just a really cool take on his character.

And like you said, he has justifications for being 'mean', because he was right. And I refuse to believe that anyone who was put into Jesse's shoes would not also be frustrated with Ellie and her actions.

He wasn't being mean because he hated her. It was because he loved her and just wanted her and Dina to be safe and couldn't possibly understand why Ellie was doing the things she was doing. It was impossible for them to ever be on the same page.

I think the changes to Jesse and Dina that I've really liked have all had to do with their separation from Ellie. The point of their characters is still to provide support and friction to Ellie, but they have these unique things about themselves now that are more than just a few lines that get sprinkled here and there to give a semblance of depth.

It kind of bums me out that people hate these changes so much.

[egforsakentakes]

Dawg these are our admins 😭

Builderman: Thinks every problem can be solved with a wrench

Doombringer: Thinks every problem can be solved with a hammer

Telamon: Causes problems on purpose

Shedletsky: Uncanny Valley

Dussekkar: The braincell

To elaborate on this:

Builderman is a very technical person. He's good with the framework. He built this world from nothing and he knows it better than he knows his own body. However, this can lead to him becoming dissociated, and when he gets like this, he finds it hard to regard his creations as actual people rather than cute little lego toys. He can make the hard calls easily, but ends up second-guessing himself when he comes back down to earth. And he doesn't always make the right call, which he attributes to his "lack of humanity." He prefers to stay in his mortal form, which is how he got Forsaken in the first place. Even then, he struggles with empathy. He only sees John Doe as a mindless monster, for example, but he can see that Jane has a different opinion, so he dislikes his own perspective intensely. I don't know if I'm making sense here. Oh, and he tends to avoid Guest whenever possible out of guilt.

In contrast, Doombringer has trained himself to have a heart of stone. He does his job quickly and efficiently, without giving himself a chance to think about it. He knows from experience that people will try to appeal to his sense of sympathy to get out of being banned, so he's pushed it down until it's almost faded away completely. It was actually pretty easy to turn him into a Killer.

Telamon always hungered for combat and chaos, so he would occasionally stir up trouble himself for his own entertainment. It bothered his fellow admins intensely - a lot of extra work for them, just because their crazy bird got a little bit bored. However, what he really wanted was attention - everyone else was always so busy, visitors to the Heights were rare. He would not do well in solitary confinement. Causing problems was his way of getting people's attention. Gee, I wonder where I've heard that before! Over time, he grew resentful of the funny little people that seemed to have his friends' full attention. He eventually recognized that people didn't like his attitude and avoided him because of it, but he responded in a horrible way...

When he turned 1× into what they are now, he didn't just put in his hatred; he got rid of any emotion he perceived as "negative" - anger, fear, sadness... even his love of fighting went into the Creation of Hatred. Now, Shedletsky was just like the mortals the other admins cared for so much - silly, happy, whimsical and peaceful. But rather than be happy, they were horrified. Shedletsky was barely half the man he used to be. A lot of them, even Brighteyes, couldn't handle it and pushed him even farther away. They just couldn't see him as the same person anymore. Builderman and Dussekkar stayed, hoping he'd come around - but he was Forsaken before that could happen.

Dussekkar, himself, is definitely the group therapist and the voice of reason. His first instinct is always to protect. He was the one who came up with the concept of respawning (and likely, albeit unintentionally, established himself as the Spawn Two Time worships.) He spends so much time focused on both the mortal world and his fellow admins' well-being, in fact, that he probably lacks self-care.

So yeah... a group of deities that struggle with human nature. Fun.

I don't know any of the others enough to do them sorry.

.

[mainblogonly]

that boy might be the worst, but damn he looks fine

mdni/no age on blog dni toxic!msby4 x f!reader cw: toxic boys, cheating, lying, empty promises, asshole behavior, they're mean in this okay wc: 500+ each song: boys beware by mad tsai lowercase intentional

miya atsumu — the cheater

"they're not gonna know, sweetheart," he said.

"this is just our little secret," he said.

"it's all part of the fun," he said.

you swore you wouldn't end up here again. you made a promise to the version of yourself that wallows in guilt every night that you wouldn't fall for any of his moves, that you wouldn't end up in his bed. you try to blame it on the alcohol or on the fact that you had a hard day at work, but you both know you'd be lying to yourself. you want to be here, and he knows that.

it feels so right, doesn't it? he cages you in with his strong arms and your body slots under his perfectly. he knows exactly how to hold you, tease you, fuck you. in another world, you think you'd have made a good couple. actually, no—you wouldn't. you'd probably end up just cheating on each other at some point.

he knows your thoughts are starting to drift. after sleeping together for months, he can tell exactly when you start feeling guilty and when you start questioning your decisions. that's his cue to reach down and rub your clit, to make his strokes even deeper, to kiss down your neck. he knows that if he pounds into you just right, you'll forget all about your little boyfriend. the only thing on your mind would be how good he's making you feel right now.

"c'mon, baby, eyes on me," he says.

"more, tsumu," you whine, doing your best to keep your eyes on him.

"there she is, good girl," he smiles.

he's got you exactly where he wants you, and you know that. you wish he couldn't read you this well, but the silver lining is that he knows exactly how to satisfy you. you wonder if he thinks the same of you or if, deep down, he still prefers her.

you're suddently pulled out of your thoughts when your phone buzzes with the special ringtone you assigned to your boyfriend.

"tsumu— wait— stop," you say.

he pauses, but he doesn't pull out.

"what are we doing?"

"having fun," he says, almost immediately, "a lot of fun, if you're asking me."

"no, i mean," you sigh, "i don't think i can do this anymore."

"babe, we've been over this—"

"i know, but—"

"it doesn't matter if you feel guilty now," he says, moving ever so lightly to push deeper into you, "either way, you know i fuck you better than he does. you'll just be back here the moment i text you that my girlfriend's out, we both know that. so just have fun with me, okay?"

"tsumu, this is really bad," you say, but you can't help but let out a moan at how he continues to stretch you out.

"don't pretend to be an angel now, sweetheart," he says, holding your jaw so you're forced too look up at him,

"because every time you show up here, you're just as bad as me."

⋆.ೃ࿔:𓇼⋆.ೃ࿔:⋆

sakusa kiyoomi — the liar

he says the nicest things when you're together. he tells you how much he misses you, promises he'll take you out on a proper date, says you're the only one for him. you almost believe him, but you know better.

"god, you were made for me, princess," he groans, slamming his hips into you.

he has you on all fours, arching your back to drive his cock deeper as your drool drips onto the mattress. the grip he has on your hips is sinful, sure to leave marks that'll remind you of your stupid decision to believe his words again.

"so pretty, g'na spoil you for taking me so well."

"promise?" you whine, trying to look back at him as he fucks you into the mattress.

"of course, love," he says, leaning down to whisper in your ear, "i'll get you a pretty dress and we can go out so everyone knows you're mine. i'll even give you a necklace with my initials on it. sound good?"

you know he won't do any of that, he never has, but you can't help but hope. the way he's holding you right now makes you think, maybe this time will be different. he wouldn't call you this often if you didn't mean anything to him, right? he wouldn't be this close, moaning your name and telling you how he needs you every day if he didn't want something more, right? he wouldn't have memorized every little thing that makes you feel good if he wasn't serious, right?

"please," you plead, and you don't even know what you're begging for at this point. for him to go faster? harder? for him to finally walk his talk? for him to actually tell people you've been sleeping together? to be anything more than his post-game ritual? for him to invite you to meet his friends? to ask you to be his girlfriend?

it doesn't matter—you don't even remember what was going through your head because he hits that spot, and you can both sense how close your release is.

"i got you, darling. want this as bad as you do, don't worry. just be good and cum with me okay?"

you wish he wasn't so sweet like this, that he didn't talk you through your high every time you slept together. it felt too intimate, something that should only be done between people who'd wake up next to each other in the morning.

he pulls you up against his chest, leaning back so you're sitting on his cock, and you reach your high together. when you both finish, he at least has the decency to carry you to the bathroom and gently wipe you clean.

"do you want to get lunch tomorrow?" you ask, some newfound confidence blooming inside you.

"no thanks, doll. that's not the kind of thing you and i do."

"but you promised—"

"promised what?" he asks, and he dares to smile at you,

"i have no idea what you're talking about."

⋆.ೃ࿔:𓇼⋆.ೃ࿔:⋆

bokuto koutarou — the ghoster

empty. cold. quiet. disappointing, but not surprising.

you let out a sigh, still half naked in the middle of your empty bed. you have a moment to yourself—quick flashes of denial of what happened and hope for what could still be—before heading to the bathroom. you wash your face, and looking into the mirror, you see every mark he left on you last night.

"god, you're so pretty," he groaned, leaving hickies from your neck to your chest as his hand moved down, down, down.

"missed you s'much, kou."

"you're so wet for me, baby."

you tried not to think about how he ignored your confession in that moment, tried to focus on the pleasure instead of how he never said he missed you. it worked, for a little bit. so long as he fingered you the way you like, preparing you for the size of his cock, you could forget that you wouldn't hear from him the next morning.

"feel good, princess?"

"yes!" you moaned, "wan' you to fuck me, please!"

"eager now, are we?" he grinned, "well, since you asked so nicely," he pushed into you, stretching you out despite the prep. you left scratches down his back, secretly hoping that his next girl sees them and gets jealous. the way he groaned once he bottomed out is straight up pornographic; you want to memorize that sound and replay it whenever you want.

you shake your head to snap out of it.

"stupid, stupid, stupid," you mumble to yourself, looking up into the mirror again, "you deserve more than this! get yourself together!"

you said the same thing three weeks ago, and a month before that, and a couple of weeks before that. your friends keep hounding you to stop showing up for a man who ghosts you every single time, but you just can't. of course, it seems easy to them; they have no idea how he makes you feel.

"c'mon baby, give me one more," he said, pounding into you after your fourth (or was it fifth?) orgasm of the night. he said he'd get you to twelve to match his jersey number.

"too sensitive, kou! can't," you moan.

"yes you can, i can feel how bad she wants this," he begins rubbing quick circles on your clit, "shit, you're still so tight."

"m'close!"

"that's my girl."

his girl? bullshit. you scroll through your texts with him to strengthen your resolve, and it works. you're reminded of how he ignores every single text you send, unless it's a response to his booty call. you can't even call yourselves friends with benefits, not with how he treats you.

and so, much to your friends' relief, you ignore him. for the next few weeks, you don't check his instagram, you refuse to click on his contact, and you actually start feeling good about all this. you think that maybe you'll get over him, and you can start finding someone else.

until your phone dings.

from: DO NOT ANSWER hey babe, game sucked tonight :( can i come over?

⋆.ೃ࿔:𓇼⋆.ೃ࿔:⋆

hinata shoyo — the player

you have no idea how he does it, how he makes you feel special. the way he holds you, the way he whispers in your ear, the way he bites your shoulder as he finally enters you—it makes you feel like you're the only one for him.

"how are you still so tight?"

"you're too big, sho!" you whine.

"and you still take me so well, baby," he grins, "that's why you're my favorite girl."

"really?"

"don't believe me? how bout i show you?"

you know you shouldn't be flattered by that. it's just a shallow little compliment to get you exactly where he wants. in fact, you invited him over tonight because you wanted to talk about being his only girl, about getting him to choose. but you were never really good at resisting him, were you?

"come here," he says, wrapping an arm under your back so he can flip you two over, "be good and ride me, yeah?"

you nod, the pleasure too much for you to even speak. you brace your hands on his chest and begin moving, relishing in how his cock stretches you out.

"you look beautiful," he reaches up to massage your breasts and, more than anything, it's that compliment that gets to you.

he's always good with words. he says the sweetest things to take you home and the dirtiest things when you're in bed. he knows exactly when to call you sweetheart, when to call you slut, and when to call you a dirty lil' princess. for a second, you wonder what he calls the other girls, but a particularly deep thrust brings you back.

"that's it, pretty, just like that," he grasps your hips, guiding your movements.

"feel s'good, sho!" you moan.

"me too, gorgeous," he thrusts up in time with your movements, "you're perfect."

he knows that it's sweet talk that'll get to you tonight, and you know he's using that to his advantage. but for now, you choose to enjoy it. you choose to savor the way his chest grumbles underneath your palms as he calls you every synonym of pretty he can think of. you choose to focus on how he fills you up, how he makes you shudder with pleasure. you choose to believe in the fantasy, just for a little bit.

when you're both done, he gently lays you down and lets you use his arm as a pillow.

"that was great, thank god i texted you tonight," he chuckles lightly.

"what?" your heart sinks at the implication, though you shouldn't be surprised.

"i was choosing between a few of you, but you're my favorite after all," he smiles, leaning in for a kiss as if being his fucking favorite was the highest compliment of all.

"what the hell, shoyo?" you push him back "we just fucked and you're already thinking about other girls?"

"sweetheart, you knew from the start you wouldn't be the only one," he scoffs,

"so if you have a problem with that, that's on you."

⋆.ೃ࿔:𓇼⋆.ೃ࿔:⋆

[loveroffemmes]

Why Does This Feel Right? | Pre-Crash Laura Lee x Fem! Reader

warnings: religious guilt, internalized homophobia

summary: Laura Lee one-shot. Laura Lee has a crush on you, she doesn’t quite understand it, but she certainly doesn’t like it. Sweet fluff with v mild angst :)

“Good practice.” Laura Lee said, patting my back in the locker room. Her touch always lingered a little bit too long and each time she would act surprised by her own actions.

“Thanks.” I smiled at her, her ears turning bright red in return. Laura Lee always had a dead giveaway as to when she was nervous; her ears would go bright red which would go unnoticed if her hair wasn’t always tucked behind her ears.

I heard Laura Lee audibly swallow, “God must have been on your side today.” She said, her hand dropping from my back.

“Yeah, something like that.” I mutter back.

“(Y/n)~!” Van called out, “How about you join Tai, Laura Lee, and I for an after practice lunch?”

I changed my cleats out for my sneakers and nodded, “Sounds good.”

The four of us went to the nearby diner. Van put in an order of fries before an of us could even order a drink, “I’m spoiling all of you today for such a good practice! Keep it up and we’ll make it to nationals.”

Tai jokingly rolled her eyes, “Are you going to have that same type of enthusiasm when the check actually comes?”

Van grabbed her own shirt, right over her heart, “How dare you!” She says, pretending to be insulted causing Tai to laugh.

The waitress sets down the basket of fries for our table and Laura Lee reaches for one as do I. Our hands brush before we can even reach the basket and Laura Lee immediately pulls her hand away, her ears and cheeks going red. Van and Tai exchange a look.

“I don’t bite, Laura Lee.”

Laura Lee nods as if what I said was serious, “I-I know…it’s not that…” She pauses for a moment, clearly trying to think of something, “I was shocked because we forget to thank God for our meal!”

“I am not doing that.” Van responds, taking a fry.

Tai continues, “If anything, we should say thanks to our waitress.”

Laura Lee’s head goes down, beginning to mumble prayers under her breath, “Thank you, God, for this meal we are about to have. Thank you, God, for my friends. I pray for them all to have good health and good fortune. I pray for these impure thoughts to disappear. I pray for my entire time.”

Impure thoughts? There is absolutely no way Laura Lee would say that unless Van and Tai corrupted her.

“Can you finally eat now?” Van groans and Laura Lee shoots her a glare.

“Yes, carrot top.” Laura Lee innocently replies and Van’s eyes go wide.

“Carrot top!?” Tai and I burst out laughing.

“You heard me.” Laura Lee replies, a small smirk making its way onto her face, “You’re just cranky about my prayers because gingers have no souls.”

Van gasps and I have to hold my stomach from how hard I’m laughing, “Laura Lee!” Van is too stunned to think of a witty reply. She desperately looks at Tai for some kind of defense, but Tai’s practically falling out of the booth from how hard she’s laughing.

We all settle down as Van mumbles something about how Tai was supposed to be on her side. I move closer into the booth and my thigh touches Laura Lee’s. She completely freezes, but doesn’t move away. Her hands move up to the cross around her neck and she desperately fumbles with it, running it between her fingers.

The meal went by quickly with a lot more bickering between Laura Lee and Van.

“I have to get home soon, I have to do an English paper that I’ve been putting off.” I said with a groan, “I swear our teacher hates me. She only gives me Cs.”

“Really? She’s never given me anything lower than an A.” Laura Lee replies, “Do you want me to look over your paper for you?”

“I would love that, but it’s due tonight.”

“Why don’t you come work on it at my house?” Laura Lee asks, a light red blush dusting her cheeks.

“You’d be okay with that?”

“Of course.” I grin at Laura Lee and she looks away from me, her hand reaching up to touch her necklace.

Van and Tai split off from us as Laura Lee and I went to her house. It was quaint. Her room was as expected, neat and decorated with crosses.

“You can sit on my bed and start writing.” I hopped up on her bed, still looking around her room and taking it all in. It was so…Godly? I felt out of place.

Laura Lee stared at me for a while, not moving from where she was standing. I felt a chill run down my spine — Was I doing something wrong? Did I accidentally sit on a cross or something?

“I want to kiss you.” Laura Lee blurts out, her fingers fidgeting with the cross around her neck.

“W-What?” My eyes widened and I could feel my entire face flush red.

“I know it’s wrong, I know that, but why would God make me crave something with the entirety of my being if I was not meant to have it? I know I’m supposed to resist sinful urges and I-I do, I swear! I don’t curse, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I’ve never dyed my hair, I-I…I’ve done everything with ease, but you…” Laura Lee’s chest is heaving as she speaks, “Why can’t I…Why can’t I stop picturing your lips? Why is it that when I close my eyes…I see you? It doesn’t make any sense! Why do my knees get weak when your hand brushes against mine? Why does my heart race when you smile at me?” She spoke as if she were begging for an actual answer, “(Y/n), I don’t understand…” She takes a step towards me, “The worst part of it all is that I don’t care. I don’t care if I go to Hell or if God never forgives me or whatever because I have never wanted anything this badly in my entire life.” Laura Lee grabbed the sides of my varsity jacket and pulled me against her, her lips meeting mine in an instant. It desperate, but gentle.

One of Laura Lee’s hands remained on my jacket, bunching it up and ensuring I do not move. Her other hand moved to the back of my neck where she kept my head locked in place, never wanting to stop kissing me. Her lips moved against mine slowly as if she was trying to remember every last second of this kiss, to memorize exactly how my lips moved, exactly how they tasted, exactly how they felt.

Laura Lee pulled away, gasping for air, her forehead resting against mine, “Your lips are soft.” She whispers.

“Yours are too.” Laura Lee leans in once more, kissing me against. If she was going to sin, then she’d at least make it worth it.

[mandrakemistakes]

To Snare A Mockingjay

Gale's inner monologue when Peeta brings up "all those nights on the train." I saw some discussion about this (discussers tagged below) and wanted to give it a shot. DISCLAIMER I know this is pretty mean, if you think its too far for canon Gale that's fair. I'm just having a little fun with it. Also obviously Gale's opinions are not mine

@heartforeyes @liberalk1tsch @butterflyintochains

___________

My hackles are up the moment I spot him, with his guards to either side and a cold, dead look in his eyes. Predator eyes, I think. They’re locked on the back of catnips head. I notice her tense next to me as she swivels to follow my gaze. After years of hunting together, I can sense when she’s poised to run and when she’s about to strike. Right now, it could go either way. 

Peeta sits down. There’s some back and forth with Delly. Some bad joke with Finnick Odair. But I’m only watching Katniss. She’s been better lately, more focused, but what will she make of this patched together shell of a man? Maybe, he can find his way back to something resembling normal and she’ll be able to finally let him and all that hunger games madness go. When this war is done, I’ll be able to build something new, in a new world, and leave everything to do with twelve, and coal, and district fences behind. I want to bring her with me, but I can’t do that if she’s stuck in her past. 

“He did save your life, Peeta. More than once.,” says Delly. 

I remember that, watching Katniss on the screen lose her head over it. Sometimes she’s still that twelve-year-old I met in the woods with too much sentiment and not enough grit. There was no way he was going to survive those games, she had to have known that, that they couldn’t both win. She needed to be stronger about that. The first snare I showed her, she complained it was unfair to the rabbits. I told her it was more fair than starving to death and she came around. She always comes around eventually.

“For her,” Peeta says, jerking his head towards Katniss. “For the rebellion. Not for me. I don’t owe him anything.”

“Maybe not. But Mags is dead and you’re still here. That should count for something.” Katniss snaps. It’s a relief she’s angry and not just pitying him. Pity won’t get me anywhere. 

“Yeah, a lot of things should count for something that don’t seem to, Katniss. I’ve got some memories I can’t make sense of, and I don’t think the Capitol touched them,” he says, “A lot of nights on the train for instance.” 

Apparently, she comes around for anybody. If Peeta wasn’t already wounded beyond repair I’d knock his teeth out for that. I clench my jaw and pull my fists under the table to maintain some semblance of control. She lied to me; Katniss fucking lied to me. She told me everything with Peeta was an act but there was clearly more going on than even the cameras knew about. Desperate people do desperate things, but I always thought she was better than that. Cleaner, somehow, more careful. The thought makes my stomach churn. Next to me, a flush is creeping up Katniss’s neck and she looks away from Peeta, down at her tray of food. It’s as good as an admission of guilt. 

I’d like to be shocked, but I long suspected this is what he had over her. He gets in her head and the fire and fight I know she has in her gets muddled. At least now I know how and why. That old hatred coils around my chest, the one I always felt watching her kiss him on screen during the games. The betrayal of it, the way she acts like I don’t even exist, it burns white hot. 

“So, are you two officially a couple now, or are they still dragging out the star-crossed lover thing?” Peeta asks, pointing to me with a spoon. He’d best be careful I don’t shove the thing back down his throat. 

“Still dragging,” pipes up Johanna. 

Peeta was always hard to hate, which frustrated me. It would’ve been easier to just have it out with him and be done, but he was such a decent guy I had to point all the jealous rage at Katniss, for putting me in that position in the first place. But now, now I can really loathe him and it’s a relief. Who would’ve believed it. 

“I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it myself,” I say. 

“What’s that?” Asks Peeta. 

“You.” 

“You’ll have to be more specific,” he says, “what about me?” 

“That they’ve replaced you with the evil-mutt version of yourself,” says Joanna. 

Yup. That about sums it up. 

I’m not going to sit in the humiliation anymore and I want to get Katniss out of here, away from Peeta. I acted too slow last time but I won’t make that mistake again. This time it’s me who has the proximity, the access, and the upper hand. There won’t be any more trains.

“You done?” I ask her, ignoring Peeta entirely and finishing my milk. She doesn’t answer, just stands up. I walk her out of the room with a backwards glare at Peeta as Delly starts to lay into him for his “rude behavior.” 

I truly didn’t expect him to be angry at her quite like that, it’s such a jarring mirror to my own pain. Maybe, this can all work out for the best. If a lure doesn’t get your quarry where you want it to go, sometimes you can direct with a deterrent instead. If Katniss can take a few more steps away from Peeta, she’ll find herself right in my arms, and everything will snap into place just as it should. 

[bitchliteraria1906]

I think people tend to not think too much about Kel and Mari and how much her death might have affected him because their relationship is significantly less defined than Mari's relationship with anyone else.

To Sunny, Mari was an amazing big sister that was always there for him and that he killed. To Hero, she was a romantic partner that he wanted to grow old with and someone he could always talk to about his more serious problems that the younger kids might not get. To Aubrey, she was an escape from a shitty home life, a big sister figure, and her first good role model. To Basil, she is the kind girl he hanged, something that he has bottled up trauma and guilt over (and potentially a big sister and escape the same way she was to Aubrey, considering his home life also isn't great).

We don’t really get anything like that for Kel. They're just part of the same friend group, or at least that's the most popular interpretation I've seen around, and a lot of people use that to further flanderize Kel into the "Token mentally okay friend" who's only purpose is cheering the others up: he and Mari weren't that close, so he's mostly fine and can focus on helping others.

Or so we think.

And I get where that idea comes from, I'd even say it's (kind of) supported by canon. But I like thinking about the possibility of Kel being closer to Mari than it seems, and what that means for him after her death.

She did date his older brother, after all. There's no way she didn't go to their house without the others to spend time alone with Hero. There's no way Kel didn't ruin some of their indoor dates by barging in and third-wheeling. There's no way she didn't help Kel with homework sometimes. There's no way Kel never overheard her and Hero talking about getting married in the future and thought about how awesome it would be to have Mari as an official member of the family.

Also, considering that the first attempt at being comforting that we see from Kel comes after Mari dying, when he tries to help Hero (before that it seemed that he was just cheerful and goofy and made people feel better naturally, but didn't really try to give advice or actual comfort), and also how he brings her up when trying to get through to Hero and Aubrey ("Mari wouldn't want to see you like this" when Hero was depressed and "What would Mari think" when trying to get Aubrey to stop bullying Basil), is not too far fetched to assume that he admired how positive and caring she was, and that he subconsciouly tried to fill her role in the friend group after she died.

[wellijustfinnihedoneofthebooks]

Problematic for a jason todd stan to say i know, but I think its kinda crazy when people demonize bruce for... believing in rehabilitation...

[mrrainys]

dude, Epic the musical has been frying my brain, and all I'm thinking about is a Keitor au: with Lotor as Odysseus and Keith as Penelope, and it's been years after Team Voltron and Team Sincline split up. The war against the empire ended, yet Lotor finds him elf fighting every day for the past 10 years to be reunited with his lover :(